1st day of the Fifth Hand of the Month of Bakah (11) in the Year 10,157 CA

The Sardar Faires can make or break a merchant. The merchant tents were packed full of browsers and buyers of wares from near and from far. I had many make orders at Moonlight Whispers Spice and Herbal Enterprises this faire. Some wished items of spice and herbals while others wanted more expensive wares. I happened to make several sales of signature scents while I was there in my stall. But what happens when a merchant .....to be continued.

4th day of the Third Hand of the Month of Bakah (11) in the Year 10,157 CA

The city of Schendi left for the Sardar two days ago, and tonight was the first night of the carnival. I spent a few Ahn getting my stall set up the way I like it, then rested at camp. It is deathly cold here, something that I really can't stand for long. I had developed a serious headache the night before, that needed medicinal intervention. I recovered, in time to put away a single gold tarn for my work in the merchant tent on the first day of the fair, and now I need to restock. I have every intention of selling out my wares this fair, as has been done on previous ones. The night brought with it the Ladies Dagger Toss, and I its host. The event went smoothly despite having nearly 21 ladies participating. It was quite a crowd, and Joleana SeVaris won first prize, Jazlyn Devaron second prize, and Alika PxG third. Each of them earned a ship. There were people upset of course about not being able to get there, and I apologize for it. But it was out of my hands. The persons actually responsible are those in the merchant caste that scheduled the events, and caused a tremendous overlap with time constraints placed on. When the event was finished I had a lot of congratulations, and people had fun at my event. That made me proud, because it was my father's event. Even Xan did well, but did not place high enough in the rankings because she missed a shot on the second round. But for a beginner, she did quite well! Afterwards, I took care of the prizes and Lukas Falconaire, my Administrator, wanted to speak to me back at camp about something..he made me his En'Merchant! Now I just pray to the Priest Kings that the power I've been given is used well, and that I can help restore the honor and reputation of the merchant caste, back in my Home Stone. Hail Schendi!

3rd day of the First Hand of the Month of Bakah (11) in the Year 10,157 CA

Send One Your Love

Send her your love
With a dozen roses
Make sure that she knows it
With a flower from your heart

Show him your love
Don't hold back your feelings
You don't need a reason
When it's straight from the heart

I've heard so many say that the days of romance are no more
And people falling in love is so old fashioned
But waiting are they the day they once let slip away
Hiding need to fulfill their heart's desire for love’s passion

Send her your love
With a dozen roses
Make sure that she knows it
With a flower from your heart

Show him your love
Don't hold back your feelings
You don't need a reason
When it's straight from the heart

I know that people say two hearts beating as one is unreal
And can only happen in make believe stories
But so blind they all must be that they cannot believe what they see
For around us are miracles of love’s glory

Show him your love
Don't hold back your feelings
You don't need a reason
When it's straight from the heart

The Big Day...

It had been a busy day of walking the plantation with Camarius in the early morning, while the air was still cooled off from the nightly rain. Times like that allowed me to catch up on what was going on in my brother's life, and what was going on in mine. Camarius knew by the way I was acting around Xan, that I had fallen head over heels in love with her. My brother was truly happy for me when I told him that I had selected a sereem from Almasi Mines and was going to give it to Xan that evening. I still had to come up with some creative way to let her know how much I wanted her. Ma seyyida. My woman. I decided to cut some fresh teriotrope that had just bloomed from the plantation, and take it to work with me, where I placed it in a vase to keep it alive. Throughout the day I was called to the docks, to sign a manifest for The Spice Runner, who was taking the cocoa that was harvested, up north. Then my shop had been open for business, and I took care of every customer until it was way past the midday meal. I picked up the stone from the mines, and then had to run it to Lady Camelia to have it placed in a setting of white Arian gold, triple banded, with flecks of white diamond. I brought the ring back to the shop. Time to do inventory, and restocking of the shelves with Moonlight Whispers Bathing Essentials, then I noticed we were short of ramberry ribbons so I began making some when I heard the jingling of bells at the door. It was Xan, all bedecked in silver, like a shiny bell. Particularly her eyes, which gave off a warm, friendly glow the moment she saw me. With her, came her guards and a basket of food my belly had been rumbling in hunger for all day. I was pleased to see her, and she was pleased to see me at work. The teriotrope bloom was offered her at the low table in one of my "nooks" in the shop. A place to sit and rest with a cup of hot tea, to chit chat with the merchant of the shop. Instead, we would partake of the meal upon it. On the table the teriotrope blossom sat, but with an added surprise. A hidden sereem diamond ring, that nearly matched the blooms. Words could not express the shock and surprise on Xan's beautiful face as she picked the ring out of the flowers they nested inside. "You are my day and my night, my moon and my stars. I don't believe my life would be the same without you Xan. You alone, know my thoughts and dreams, and encourage me to be the man I am. Say that you'll be mine, ashiri." Those were the words I used to express myself, opening my heart wide open to her. She could have thrown it all away by saying 'no' or 'I can't', but instead, "I....I stand before you Kiran. Humble and honored that you....you chose me. Her fingers reached for mine, needing in that moment to feel my warmth and to draw on the strength she admired within me. "We are two souls that should be one. As I know you, so you know me. You see in me what no one ever has. For so long, all I knew was coldness and darkness. You are my light and my hope. My warmth and my laughter."-Her voice, while soft, was heavy with honest, heart-felt emotion. "Yes, nakupenda, yes.....I will be yours. As long as you will be mine." Then she wore my ring, and it shone like the rays of Tor-tu-Gor from her hand as I sat admiring it on her. Her words took the breath I was holding in the silence between us, away. Finally, someone who loved me for me, and not what I was or what they had perceived. I am thankful for it.

5th day of the Tenth Passange Hand in the Year 10,157 CA

I have been a bit lax in adding new details here in my journal, but I hope to make up for them. Besides working at my shop, I have been introducing Xan to other people of my city, during the Harbor Festival. They seem to like her sense of humor the way I do. Its so abrupt coming from such a cultured, refined woman, and so sarcastic...rather like my own humor. I find that we have many things in common. Since the night of the fishing tournament, I have spoken to my mother about Xan, and my feelings for her. Lady Cameron said I needed to follow my heart, and so must I. Journal, I plan on asking her to become my free companion. I don't know how yet or what method would be best for asking her to companion me. This my mother left up to me. We spent days getting to know each other, and then one morning on the terrace, I doted on her, noticing her knack of sketching from the fishing tournament. I surprised Xan with an artist's easel, canvasses, oil paints and brushes and colored writing sticks for more expressionable sketches than black and white only. We shared in that moment, and she surprised me by removing her thin veil, to become more like the women of Schendi. I saw her face, smooth blushing cheekbones, full ripe lips, aquiline nose and those starry silver depths of hers. Looking into her eyes is like gazing at a night sky. I dream about her at night, all my thoughts seem to drift to her wherever I am. Especially this. The way she hugged me tight when I gave her the presents and she opened them, and I whispered, nakupenda (my love). Of course I had to translate it for her, but I feel we came to the crossroads of our relationship where there was no turning back. I finally admitted my feelings for her, heart and soul. She said she felt the same way about me, and my heart sang. Never will I forget that moment on the terrace, I felt as if I had made an offering of my heart, and it had been accepted. I don't know where I'd be today without her by my side. I probably would have given up on love entirely had it not been for the Priest Kings sending Xan to me. And I will always be grateful for the gift of her.

4th day of the Tenth Passange Hand in the Year 10,157 CA

It was like a dream come true, dear Journal. I had left Xan with so much reluctance that afternoon at The Belled Kajira, my heart wept with sadness. It was as if I was being rent in two, to stay and continue our chat, or to get back to Schendi and work in progress on my spice inventory. I had to leave her, but not without the promise of seeing her once again. We had settled on the Se'Var fair, but to my surprise, Xan inquired about a pass to Schendi, and the next I knew she had become a guest of my wonderful city. I was to become a host to a beautiful woman I had just met, but felt as though I had known for ages, in my beautiful home, Ananda Estates. She plans to travel with me to the fairs, along with the city of Schendi, where I am hoping to host the Ladies Dagger Toss event for my city. The first night she was in Schendi, we were celebrating the Harbor Siege Festival, and a fishing tournament which I took part in. Xan opted to sit and observe myself and my fellow Schendians fish, and make terrible jokes with each other, and Xan learned how bad Merrick and Marc could pun each other. I believe Xan had a really good opportunity to see how we are in action, and the fierce competitiveness of Schendi in either an event or in business dealings. I almost succeeded in winning the competition, but due to an extra round was knocked into fourth place. It was alright though, the prize was a ramship, and I have plenty of those to go around. Plus I had a chance to catch a young river shark, which I used Xan's high heeled slipper to beat to death! I had the feeling I upset Xan by being so forward, and actually breaking the heel off her slipper by accident in the process, but it was all in good fun. I think the others have sensed that I am fond of this woman, journal. That quite possibly, the iron shield I have covering my heart is slowly melting from the heat of love. I have the distinct feeling that Xan's feelings are reciprocal. She let go completely, to be herself around the others instead of being closed off due to her past. The one thing that I honestly hope for, is that the little ashiri is able to fly free in the jungles of my home, and the openness that I share with her, remains a reality for her and that she is comfortable in her own skin without returning to the hermit of her youth. I'd do anything to have her smile, and hear her warm peal of laughter. I'm glad she's come here, maybe she will decide to never leave? At least I pray so. So far the Priest Kings have shone on me, and blessed me with such a woman in my midst. Let us hope that the trend continues for the best for both of us.

4th day of the Fifth Hand of the Month of Se'Var (10) in the Year 10,157 CA

I believed that it would be a typical Schendi day for me. A walk around the plantation with my brother Camarius, to survey the growing plants all around us, as well as the cocoa trees that were signalling their ripeness for harvesting. A day to be amongst the grinding of spices in my shop, Moonlight Whispers Spice and Herbal Enterprises. But it was not such a day. It was a day I met Xanthippe Vogt, a merchant of clothing and seamstress notions in a nondescript garden, when I took a break away from my tedium. The first noticeable thing about her was the color of her eyes, which were breathtaking glacier ice. The second was that the woman was as tall as my younger sister, Azuri. But it was in those eyes, so much could be seen. Not just by Xan, but by myself. Eyes that had lived through horror and chaos. The same eyes that I saw in my own looking glass every day. We were kindred spirits, she and I. Simple talk led to deeper discussion, mistrust led to baring one's soul before each other. I taught her a fun game of tossing daggers, and being a man I cannot say her creamy white skin wasn't unnoticeable, nor was her blush when I spoke to her of personal things, or gave a offhand compliment. I tend to be very sincere when it comes to my compliments, and she appreciated that after a life of feeling unworthy of such. I found out that she had a good arm for tossing daggers, and that she would be going to the faire as well. Xan promised to hold my secrets dear to her, as I have done the same with her own. She also promised to come to Schendi for a visit at my Estate. I had asked her over a midday meal at The Belled Kajira, a little hole in the wall place I discovered upon my travels where the food and conversation are good. I don't know what possessed me my journal, but I found her irresistable, and just had to have one kiss before I reluctantly left her behind to return to Schendi. Even though it was through the layers of veil, it was well worth the effort. I think it also caught her off guard. But the kiss sealed the promises made. We shall see what the outcome brings, whether she does come to my home or not, I still know that she is one of the few people that think of me as a child, and sees me as a man instead. A proud, Gorean man.

1st day of the Fifth Hand of the Month of Se'Var (10) in the Year 10,157 CA

Parisete had arrived and rather then get down to business as expected, we sat and rehashed about old times, and companionship. She asked me what I felt about it, whether a man should spend more time with their companion, and I gave her my honest opinions on it. I found out she had been claimed in Port Kar, joined to a fellow coin merchant/pirate. I can't say I found that news pleasing, but at least she's with someone that must care for her somewhat. Later on that evening, I played on the kalika for her three songs I knew from memory, and she had a wonderful time.

During her stay at Ananda she learned a lot about me I think. Sometimes I do sensible things, and other times silly things. Like taking a trip to the clinic for an exam/stabilization serums, and finding out that I would have to stay a whole hand in the clinic for observation to make sure the serums worked. That pain from the shots was remarkably bad! Unfortunately, my stay interfered with my guest's stay at Ananda Estates, so there was a problem. I had to say goodbye to Parisete, much to my reluctant heart, and bid her farewell to Port Kar until the Se'Var Faire. I have been busy with orders for my shop, and the people of Schendi have been good to me in that regard with patronizing Moonlight Whispers Spice and Herbal Enterprises.

Maybe the Priest Kings good fortune will shine on me after all.